Who Needs a Schedule Anyway?

I had the best-laid plans for today. I followed the PRC scheduling plans with military precision. Doctor appointment, yoga at the Y, haircut and church all had designated lines. I even got up just prior to my alarm, got dressed and headed off to my morning doctor appointment. From there on, my plan was demolished. So much for precision!

My pain doctor, and his two lovely assistants, greeted me with smiles, anxious to meet the new and improved Janet. I soon would be the lucky recipient of two facet injections that would hopefully help relieve some of my hip pain. I’ve tried multiple shots varying in location and medication but felt confident in the procedure.  With the last “pinch and burn”, I declared that the doctor was “no longer my friend”. I even questioned whether he had a disagreement with his wife that morning or a long hidden resentment toward some wicked elementary teacher. Although this brought a slight smothered smile, the doc kept going. He was done with the right side and preceded to its partner. Luckily these “bunny bites” didn’t cross my pain threshold. In other words, the doctor left with all of his appendages.

Trouble began when I went to stand up. My vertigo remained hidden, probably afraid of the doctor with the long needles. I even rolled off my stomach with style. With its rounded shape, that had never presented problems prior to the vertigo. All went well until I stood up. My left leg followed that military schedule, but my right chose to mutiny. I took a step only to replicate my weeble stature. Luckily my little “Vanna White” grabbed me quickly to avoid my body meeting the linoleum. After two more failed attempts, Vanna 2 brought in a wheelchair. My leg just wouldn’t hold up any weight. I was told this very occasionally happens to people when a leg overreacts to the numbing medication. With these odds, toss me on a plane to Vegas.

After reading all of the magazines in sight while drinking 47 gallons of water to flush out the medication, I reluctantly faced the fact that driving home was not an option. Bob and his brother became my knights in shining honor to provide chauffeur service. Once home, I made it to the bedroom with the help of a walker and stair chair and managed to plop with limited grace onto my bed. It was close to 1:00, so I realized my finely tuned schedule had bit the dust. There I remained until later that evening. Hobbling is somewhat easier, but my right leg is self-imposing a strong limitation on weight bearing.

Bob has his foot surgery tomorrow afternoon, so my leg better be off strike by then. We make quite a pair hobbling around the house. Yet the remembrances of far less fortunate people I had met in Rochester suddenly makes me feel like I can run a marathon. (It would probably take me 7 ½ weeks to get to the finish line, but I would get there.) Please keep my hubby in your prayers tomorrow. A sense of God’s peace always comes in handy.

Today’s Advantage of the Mighty Three:

• You get extra time in the doctor’s office to jabber with wonderful staff, and they don’t even charge you more. Or at least, I don’t think they do. I haven’t seen the bill yet!