The Novel

I’m writing earlier than normal, and that probably says something right there. It started as a pretty good day. I made it to the first group session. I inadvertently sat in someone else’s chair although the few people in the room indicated it was fine. Whew! Some people are pretty touchy about those things. I moved.

We then went to morning stretching. This was held in the atrium with a domed skylight three stories high. The room was gorgeous; a bright room complete with trees and comfy chairs. There was one problem. I don’t do well with big spaces. I stumbled to a chair and the room was starting to slightly spin. Then, an energetic nurse came dashing into the room, ready to share her love of mornings. I knew I would have to modify the moves by remaining in a seated possession. The room increased its speed and started to make some flips. I borrowed a simple, black purse to change my focal point. Things were better for almost one minute until we stretched our arms forward. Well, I stretched and kept on stretching. To put it simply, I did a perfect forward roll. Luckily two people jumped out of the way to avoid any injury. I decided to finish the exercises while seated on the floor.

An hour later, I went to a class entitled “Medical Aspects of Chemical Use”. The nurse began with a simple introduction and then began a half hour video stating fact about what happens to your brain with narcotics, tobacco, yadda, yadda, yadda. The director presumed a somewhat dry topic required a boost. I think he must have used LSD as a child. About 75% of the background was a mixture of a lava lamp on speed and a morphed, psychedelic screen saver. Although I tried to focus on the speaker or the head of the speaker, but the rapidly changing background was the winner. I put my head down, but I felt like I was on a roller coaster. I knew it was time to go sit on the floor so I wouldn’t be sprawled on the floor a second time. I started sitting with my back against the wall right around the corner of the room. My knuckles were white and my pulse was racing. I chose to lie on the floor and just listen to the film. As the room spiraled, I flopped headfirst on the floor. Maybe since it is Lent, my pose quickly resembled a cross. Then I got the shakes. Then the sobs came. After what seemed an eternity, a nurse rescued me and threw me in a wheelchair. I was taken to the “quiet room”. After some prayers, deep breathing and an overdue box of Kleenex, I thought I could return to the class. They clapped and high-fived me for my perseverance. I love these people. A more experienced classmate made sure I could follow my schedule. She even arranged for an escort to watch over me.

Despite a less than ideal start, my day improved. When you flop on the floor and begin to smell the carpet, people realize the extent of vertigo. I could feel the prayers of my faithful readers and the Holy Spirit surging my soul. There is nowhere in this world where I could have more support.

I ended the day with tai chi and felt like a magnet was pulling my forehead back to the carpet. It was just a 30-minute class so I kicked those darn magnets out of the way. A few of us stayed on the chairs talking about our evening plans. I was invited to join them for a night in a hot tub and Amish pies. That hotel is kind of far away, so I gave my regrets and headed to the car. Even so, it felt marvelous to be included.

My walk was what you would expect. I was wiggling and wobbling but somehow heading in a relative straight path. My angel from class remarked that I reminded her of a classic TV show. She began singing the theme song from the Monkees. I soon joined in. You could probably hear us three blocks away.

Then I realized that Casper came to see how I was doing. He slipped my coat, with my car and hotel keys in the pocket, and hid it. Maybe he is a wanna-be Easter Bunny and wanted experience hiding items. I headed back the 52 miles to the locked tai chi room. No problem! A half hour later, I retraced my path and headed to the parking lot. That darn Casper has a poor sense of humor, but I found my car even though he moved it 22 times.

I decided I needed a stop at the mall to help the economy. I giggled as I saw a security guard whom I could pin in less than 9 seconds. Why are all mall security guys less than intimidating? Think about it!

I better stop here. Previous comments regarding my lengthy posts echo around my hotel room. Sorry for the novel.

Today’s advantage of the Mighty Three:

• When you start the day cruddy, the only way left is up!

Oh yeah. I began the counter at the bottom of the page on January 26. It looks like it will hit 1000 by the morning. Yippee!