We’re back in our own home after a very full week and a half at Mayo. Upon opening the door, we immediately came to the conclusion that a winter tornado had somehow roared through the inside of home sweet home, leaving chaos behind it. Then the realization that the workmen are remodeling our downstairs to make it easier for our old, achy bodies slithered into our shrunken brains. Basically the whole downstairs, including the garage, is either torn apart due to this undertaking or storing the wide assortment of items that went in the kitchen, bathroom, utility room, eating area and hall closet. After 22 years, my amazing housekeeping skills had shoved many items into tight spaces. In other words, we had, or rather have, a lot of junk! The kitchen will be wonderful in another two weeks. Then it will take another 14.5 years to shove everything back. Some of the things might be replaced quickly since our main television is hidden somewhere behind some of the many boxes decorating our home. (Can I claim that it is the newest feng shui design?) Plus, we have to locate the many menus we have accumulated due to my lack of culinary skills. I used to also blame my lack of time, but since I am home on disability all day, the clock is not the blame.
Even though I am somewhat accustomed to people’s confusion when trying to understand me, the trip up north has heightened their unusual reactions. Many people have endured my long wait for Mayo. They’ve encouraged the trip and even have read this silly blog for minute details. Now that I have arrived back home, they are not so sure how to act. They want visible results! I smile at those individuals who gawk over my healthier appearance or rave at my stronger voice. They applaud my fixed body, but don’t comment about my continued befuddled brain.
I hate to tell them that I did not get a magical thump on my head from the 700 Club. I still stutter and hear ringing. It sounds like that awful pitch that many of us heard at the end of the television-broadcasting day. (If you are too young to recall the buzz, you should be doing something far more exciting than reading the blog of ditzy platinum.) I walk with a tipsy gait and don’t like loud noises. However, now I have a plan.
I have begun the new diet restrictions. You just can’t see the teardrops on your computer screen. I do the “Let’s See Janet Fall on Her Face” exercises assigned for my visual desensitization. My medications are being modified as I write. Besides all of that, Mayo has provided us with new hope for this deformed frame.
An upcoming post will describe some of my plans for the future. Mayo hasn’t seen the last of me yet. I figured this current blog would at least catch you up to the latest and greatest news. Don’t feel confused when I still bounce off the walls when walking or examine the threads on the carpeting. It’s me. I’m convinced that I will get there, but the tortoise and the hare will lap me 26 times.
Stay warm.
My latest advantage of The Might Three:
- People assume you have a reason to lack patience and have a hazy brain as long as you resemble a ping-pong ball when you walk. The movements, color AND shape of that sphere look just like me!
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