After writing all of thee blogs, I’ve realized the amount of time I spend slouched on our family room couch with my computer resting upon my lap. I always check the email, play on the computer and try to jot down my reactions from the day. My husband does similar actions at his end of the couch. You can feel the electricity of the moment as we hammer away. They call us Mr. and Mrs. Excitement.
I talked to multiple doctor offices today in regards to Saturday. This morning, the migraine was still awful, and my head continued to swirl away. An associate of my pain doctor called to check on my revolutions and prescribed strong medicine to fight the vertigo. I tried these pills about a year ago but needed to stop due to the many side effects. We’ll see how it goes now. I have to rid the vertigo that knocks me on my tush and makes me immobile for four or five days so I need to balance a happy stomach with a quiet brain.
I tried to use the walker today because my path was far from stable. My knees kept buckling so much that even this modification was not good. Late this morning, I decided to head upstairs to rest in a horizontal position. My brain decided not to waste the extra effort so it dropped me to the floor after taking maybe two steps. At least it felt good having my face on the cool floor. Bob tossed me a pillow, but it couldn’t be used. My head couldn’t lift to that angle. The chill of the floor felt good against my throbbing head. It was also a great way for me to get a different view of the room and search for escaped Legos following the boys’ trip.
The stuttering has also arrived, but I try to ignore this debilitating condition. It is just one more aspect of my severe migraines, but it drains every ounce of my self-esteem. It hinders my ability to express myself to others, and I hate that!
The medication put me to sleep, so my afternoon was spent with me snoozing away. The actual headache is better even though it left a hole for its return. The tinnitus split in half and is far less audible. It now reverberates on both sides of my cerebellum. This tone can be ignored.
Reading is suddenly much harder for me. The words tend to wander around the page in the same fashion as my ambling treads. Usually I fight this movement by giving a “teacher look” to the given text, but the letters are not listening to me this time even with a font size of 379. Not being able to read would be unbearable.
My spinning has slowed to that of a Russian ballet company. It would be wonderful if I could walk fifteen feet and remain vertical with ease. The pounding is continuing. Bob once again found some interesting wives’ tales on the computer. You know the kind. I must sit on the roof singing the Star Spangled Banner backwards while juggling four milk bottles. I feel that we have gone full circle and I’m back to the start explaining my plight to a series of doctors who advise multiple medications with no impact on my pain.
So here I go with glasses of cold water, acupuncture needles, ginger and a stiff neck. I fear little will be gained, but they are each accomplished in the lingered hopes of a life without vertigo. These new steps help ease Bob’s pain at least, but I hate the drop after a hint of success.
The pain will gradually ease until another round comes dashing inside me. This is not pessimistic; I have lived with this constant repetition for about 3 ½ years. Now the faces of the physicians are starting to spin faster than the furniture in the room.
Ways God Shows Me Through Chronic Pain that Life is Good:
- I get to find loose change under the couch and aquarium.
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