Vertigo 102

Bob and I made a fast (that’s fast according to our speed) dash to Target to pick up three items. We left with four bags. I don’t know what it is about that place, but it’s near to impossible to get out of there spending only two digits.  The most exciting things we purchased that day were shoe polish, a toenail clipper and a plunger. (What exhilarating outings we have when we dare venture out from our home.) I also managed to get a real doozy case of vertigo. Let me explain since I still get lots of questions about my vertigo.

I wasn’t feeling quite right when we even walked in the store, so I wanted to make it a short stop. Bob was poking around in search of the perfect plunger while I hurried on to gather the rest of the items on our list. As I walked down a main aisle, I kept looking back and forth to find the hidden locations of other stuff. Now, I’m not the one named Einstein in our home, but I should know better than that. By turning my head back and forth two times, my body suddenly felt like a top spinning out of control. So there I stood, pushing my cart amidst other afternoon patrons trying to pretend that I could walk straight for maybe two feet. Bob was nowhere to be seen to help me out, or at least I thought that since my vision couldn’t focused on an image for the life of me.

As I turned back looking for him, as if that would have even been possible, I now sent myself spinning out of control. I had forced another dimension into my gyroscopic perspective making me now go head over heels as if in clumsy cartwheels. One of the stupid things I do when my vertigo is having a great time entertaining itself is to clutch onto whatever I am holding. I realize that this is illogical, but I hang on for dear life. It’s more than a firm grasp mind you; it’s like a mother grabbing onto a toddler’s hand while a mean-looking kidnapper is pulling the child. I’m NOT letting go!

I’m sure I look adorable during one of these episodes. I begin to sweat or rather drench myself in perspiration. I feel my chubby little cheeks flush while my eyes bounce around like pinballs. Add that to my hold on the cart - a combination Vulcan-grip of a diehard Trekkie or a grasp on a hard to find toy from two harried Black Friday shoppers – and I have to look like the perfect, relaxed shopper.

The annoying part is the nausea that frequently follows one of these perfect times to be in public. I get kind of a bad case of motion sickness once my head slows down to warp speed. That’s been my current status that I am sure ready to finish.

So that’s vertigo! It isn’t always so dramatic, but the fear of not knowing when it will pounce on me is the pits. Afterwards, I always hear Bob reminding me that I turned too fast or got up too quickly for which I politely thank him for his continued support. Vertigo is a strange affliction and it gets even stranger the longer I have it. Although it usually is attached to a bad migraine, it also can pop up whenever it darn well pleases. At least maybe that keeps my life exciting and avoids dull moments. So much for Vertigo 102. I’m blessed that I have the capability to write this all down in a blog and people who care enough to read it. Plus, it makes great adventures for me to share with novices. Boy, life is good!

God Uses My Chronic Pain to Prove that Life is Good:

       -  It keeps my social life in a whirl.