I Need a Buzz

It’s a beautiful fall day as the sun shines against a deep blue sky. A few brave leaves cling to the branches despite the breeze in the autumn air. The temperature has risen throughout the day to allow coats to be scattered across the yard. Few people are outside though as televisions are tuned to another weekly football game.  The Bears have even played appropriate for their London audience, and Chicago feels a win might actually be in the near future.

Despite this idyllic setting, I’m hunkered on my corner of the couch. All benefits of the latest injection have long since disappeared making a more technological option a better choice for me. Now, we just need for the sacred insurance companies to agree with that prognosis.

I had planned for this procedure immediately following to what is now known as The Ice. I had actually gone for a psychological to determine whether my dreams of reduced pain fit reality. I passed. So in ten days, I hope to obtain a trial neurostimulator. The name alone should help scare away uncaring insurance adjustors. Some leads will be placed close to my spinal column. With the use of a handy dandy remote, I will be able to send electric signals to my brain. This new buzz will be highly preferable to any pain that I have in my hips and lower back. A more permanent procedure will be dependent on my results.

That still leaves my head. There now are some stimulators that can be attached in your cranium, but the use of permanent electrical current shows mixed reactions at this time. That’s fine with me for now. I don’t need to attempt any similarity to a robotic woman.

It would be amazing though to be able to take more steps after sitting for a short while and not make wrinkled faces as I squirm in pain. My maddening hips need help in climbing stairs and walking more than five feet. God will bring me what I need. It’s so perplexing to be deciding about a procedure that should have happened in February of 2008. I’m sure that this technique has been fine tuned by now, so hopefully that means even better results after this three and a half year hiatus.

I’m still waiting for help with The Mighty Three. I know I will have to reduce the number of falls I take once I get my temporary stimulator. The headaches are starting to really affect my psyche, as I want to hide from very much, or any, social interaction. I know that I can partially mold the vertigo as long as I avoid turns or elevation changes. You would think that the persistent nausea would have beneficial repercussions on the scale, but that has not been the result.

So say some prayers that this funk can disappear. I can logically state a bazillion of my blessings. God has blessed me with a loving and caring family. Stephanie’s children are growing stronger, taller and smarter. Bob’s brain injury is finally getting some options for care. My home is stuffed with memories and memory makers. My church family provides a deep foundation of love and support. My dog makes me laugh! Yet, I still wallow in wishes for my body to get rid of some of this darn pain.

Thanks for the prayers. The awesome strength found in such dialogue with Christ is a power that does miracles.

God Uses My Chronic Pain to Remind Me that Life is Good:

     -  People who don’t even know me now offer my name in prayer. Wow, feel that power of a good life.