The Look

Bob has always teased me about “the look” which was apparently very beneficial for me during all those years teaching special education students. One look from me could supposedly send shivers down the backs of former kids. My darling husband also firmly believed that all mothers apparently learn a similar facial feature during childbirth. Kids worldwide get that gaze and know that they had made an oops. If only that look could consistently positively modify their little ones’ actions. Bob feigns a shiver if ever I dare to send a similar glance at him. Shouts of “Not the look!” can be heard throughout the neighborhood.

It’s my turn for the giggles when I consider the looks given by those darling, little grandsons of mine. (You did know that I was a grandma didn’t you!) The four-year old has a look when he spots me after an absence that would melt butter on an ice cube. When he rushes to me at the airport, I declare to the world that he is the best thing since sliced bread or those new frozen yogurt bars. His younger brother Ollie has a far different look. He gives the look when you can tell that he is up to all sorts of shenanigans. It has to get you laughing in 2.1 milliseconds. (Can you tell with that time reference that my eyes have been glued to the Olympics?) Then they both have that look when they are proud of themselves. One look at those little happy faces make Obama and Romney get along – well, maybe not quite.

Now my husband has some looks that I already hate to see. Due to his Lewy Bodies Dementia, his mind gets kind of stuck and he can’t give attention to anything else that happens around him. I could crash cymbals in his ears and he would still have this far away look. It takes a firm hand and familiar voice to shake him from this haunting look. The worst thing is that those looks will only become more frequent and harder to shed.

Tonight he had another look that is starting to appear at an alarming rate. When he is about to have a new test, he has this look of horror of the unknown. If I leave him without proper warning, he gives me a scared look. There’s a deep fear. He is nervous that one of his episodes will happen when I am not around to help him out. It breaks my heart. The absolutely worst thing is that it is a look I better get used to seeing.

I’m ok dealing with the current situation. We have learned to work things out ok. I know what to expect. I probably have my own new look when I am reading all of this literature thrust in my hands by well-meaning staff. I’m at the stage in Bob’s LBD to discover more about the upcoming horrors he is about to face. That’s what makes me want to cry.

The look! There are lots of them. Each has it’s own unique capabilities to either freeze or warm the heart. Each look has more meaning for our loved ones as we have already analyzed all previous repercussions. Each one vibrates a soul and means more than others can truly identify.

God Uses Our Love to Prove that Life is Good

      -  We know our looks and the camouflaged meanings behind them. That's all we need for our love is good.