Emotions

Emotions continue to swirl inside me crating an amalgam of emotions expanding more than my waistband. You name an emotion and Bob or I have probably experienced it in every pore of our bodies. That’s really not a statement that tingles my spine with delight.

Both Bob and I have been worried about what the future holds for us. It’s difficult to live in the moment when Lewy Bodies Dementia (LBD) is hovering overhead. What will happen to our finances? How long will this horror last?  What will life be like in another year?

Love continues to also overfill our hearts, gently pouring throughout our bodies and everyday emotions. With an LBD prognosis, we value each day in a manner that I couldn’t previously fathom. I’m so blessed with a good hubby. Life is good.

I’m confused with all of the new medicines and theories and specialists and symptoms and appointments. Everything begins to blur together despite all my efforts and diaries. When does it end? I just want to hide away in my bed sometimes.

I admit my curiosity also has the better of me sometimes. I want to know more about these hallucinations that continue to dwell within my husband. I’m curious about the little animals that scurry around our home. Sometimes they are larger and are the focus of more concern, but usually they just scamper from room to room. This protein in Bob’s brain has created the many colors and textures. How does this all work? The brain has such unique powers that can never be captured by man. I can’t fathom God’s creativity in all of his creations.

We’re tired of the monotonous routine that has been embedded in our calendars. There is always a minimum of three doctor appointments per week. There are medications to order and diaries to keep. I’m so tired of this LBD monster that I want to hide in y bed, snuggled away in the comfort of my sheets. I can hide in my sleep unlike my poor husband.

I’m pleased that we are fighting LBD. The new medications have helped to ward off the horrors. We can laugh in delight that we have temporarily defeated or perhaps just slowed this devil. We want to be together and discover all that the world has to offer. We can look around at our home, family and friends and know that life is good.

I’m anxious. There is so much to learn. I had never even heard of this disease four months ago and now it fills almost every waking hour (and lots of the sleeping ones too). Emails from others who know this journey constantly fill my email. There are constantly new books and new studies. There are so many other people who also need to be attentive of this knowledge. It’s LBD awareness month. What can I do to help spread more knowledge?

I’m grateful for the many people who stand next to me for this voyage. My friends at Prince of Peace have shown such an awesome support and the willingness to provide so much more. My daughter and son-in-law are only a phone call away. The doctors and support staff are amazing at the words of encouragement and willingness to work as a team. God has sent many blessings to us. Life is good.

God Uses Our Love to Prove that Life is Good

        Our love is just one of the many emotions that fill my heart. Let this love be not only for my Bob, but for the Lord as well.