The Corpulent Sloth

I’m enjoying the holidays in my own special style, slowly. I’ve never been known for my amazing speed and fast dashes throughout my life. I’m more at the snail momentum or probably closer to the sluggish sloth. Part of my leisurely fashion can be blamed on my age and health concerns. A more accurate guilty reason is my weight. I admit it. You can call me plump, chubby, stout, portly, or corpulent.  That’s my category.

Of course, I have done my best to avoid the “fat” word. I wear extra-large tops for others to assume that a 120-pound body was underneath all that fabric. I wore long necklaces to elongate my frame. OK, I was a long, fat person. My hair supposedly framed my face to flatter its shape, which was round or fat. I admit it!

I recently joined Weight Watchers and am proudly proclaiming that I have finally lost 10.4 pounds. WOW! I’m sure my friends will gawk at my new frame. I’m worried that this recent change could actually cause automobile accidents. Can you imagine - a whole 10.4 pounds?

I love watching people practically undress for their weekly weigh in. Shoes and coats scatter the floor. All jewelry is stashed away. I have even gotten my haircut and shaved my legs; the latter may be the instigator of that 10.4 pounds. I don’t wear any make-up or deodorant. Every little thing could count.

But I just walked by the mirror on our hall tree and determined that I look the same. Those rolls of blubber that serve as a belt for me still circle my frame. I have lost my neck to only replace it with additional chins. Some people are accused of having a double chin. Mine is past that and moving on to octuple chins. At least I am still in single digits.

So wish me luck in my continued weight loss. Provide me encouragement to ignore those Christmas cookies that have magnetic capabilities. I’ve stopped clinging to the refrigerator because my body ached after 78 consecutive hours. I can do this! I’ve lost 10.4 pounds and only have 533 more to go. Life is good!

God Uses My Chronic Pain to Prove that Life is Good:

     -  I am too slow to indulge in some of those frozen goodies stocked in the freezer without them melting in my hand before I make it to the couch.