The Paparazzi

Bob and I were able to worship together at our home church today. In so many ways, it felt like we were finally home after too long of a break. How comforting to have so many people greet us afterwards with thoughts of love and concern. We were surrounded with the warm love of our Christian family that shielded our hearts, cushioned our falls and strengthened our minds. Now, I’m not claiming the popularity of the paparazzi for no cameras were noticeable, but I almost felt like Angelina and Brad. You could feel the tightly woven support of a congregation genuinely concerned about us. That illusion cracked when I saw Bob grasp his walking stick while my vision had people spinning. Although our church is known for its strong musical program, I doubt that the congregation practiced a May pole dance as they left the worship service.

The communion bread and wine filled my soul with a reminder that love is still there. I bravely swallowed the wafer without even checking it for natural flavoring or coloring. Those items are strictly forbidden with my new dietary restrictions. Who knew that all that natural stuff was filled with MSG? Try looking for items that don’t include those forbidden three letters that now govern what goes in my ever-moving mouth.

I was truly amazed at the number of people commenting on these goofy posts. Although there is a counter at the bottom of this site, I just imagined those numbers swirling with no apparent reason much the same as my head. You silly folk don’t post comments but send encouragement via my email. Post some comments if you feel so inclined or just shake your head in wonder of my household.

One could still see their surprise at my wiggly route and shaky hands. Although Mayo provided us with new hope, there was no magical cure or promised paradise at the end our stay. It’s disheartening to still cringe with certain sounds, bounce off surrounding walls, and answer phones not ringing. The drop off Great Expectation Cliff generally creates a crash echoing for days on end. How blessed to have our congregation there to stop the downward spin.

With that I will end my ramblings for the day. Let me know if you find any good grub that prefers the unnatural route. I can also eat leeks and chard, but I don’t know those weird green things. Apricots are ok if they aren’t overripe. I’ve always despised overripe fruit, so I am content with that.

Advantage of The Mighty Three:

• There’s the feel of the paparazzi while you bounce off the walls.

The Triple Lutz and Double Axel

We came to a small mental breakdown today that immediately occurred following a major physical breakdown. Basically, Bob and I had both reached a point that not only broke the camel’s back but there will be a funeral for seventeen of those creatures tomorrow at noon. Sorry, no food will be served following the ceremony because we haven’t figured out exactly what I can eat. I will discuss the whole food catastrophe on a future date.

My faithful followers know that our first floor is considered unfit for habitation at this time. We can uncomfortably deal with that. Our problem was how to get to the upstairs level. The floor tile was laid, but we couldn’t walk on it. To get to the stairs from the front door one must perform a triple lutz jump immediately after a double axel. The ice skating terms are related to the winter weather that complicates the process. Try doing that while taking off dripping winter boots prior to landing on the stairs. Bob and I attempted these moves with little success. We gave our best efforts with a death spiral when Einstein was persuaded to go out in the cold. All I can say is, “Not a pretty sight!”

The contractor was advised of our concerns and thankfully, some changes were made. Some of the plastic covering the doorways and stairwell were removed. (I forgot to mention that plastic was taped sealing the hallway from a small portion of the dust now flying freely through the air.) I don’t know whether I gasped more from lack of oxygen due to my allergy to dust or from the exertion extended from my less than Olympian body.

I’ll leave it there for now. Stay tuned for my reflections on this yummy migraine diet and updates on my vertigo visual desensitization exercises. You can comment on your predictions about those matters. I would love to hear your ideas.

Advantage of The Mighty Three:

• You don’t have to worry about getting a fifth Olympic gold medal. You just have to find the couch.

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Catch That Food

Wow! We have been back since Friday night and are still trying to adjust to life after Mayo. Part of the confusion is due to the fact that our first floor is under renovation. It’s amazing how dust can cover every square inch of our home, maybe even Roselle, or Illinois. If your house is getting dusty, you can blame it on our construction. At least I did learn that the doctors were correct when they discovered that I was allergic to dust and mold. Wow! I shouldn’t have had to take that portion of the allergy test. Just open up your front door and hear me hacking away. Despite extra covers for our vents, plastic covering doorways and me being home as little as possible, I know we won’t be undergoing something like this again for the next 326 years.

I bought the golf umbrella for some of my visual desensitization exercises. It’s striped. I twirl the umbrella and stare at it to then record how long my vertigo has me going in circles. I’ve got a huge timer on my laptop to record the time. That works well as long as I can find the computer. Don’t they know it is bad luck to open up an umbrella inside the house?

I’ve tried to be a good girl with this new migraine diet. I thought I could order the salad during lunch, but after examining the menu, I knew this was not going to be my meal. The lettuce was fine, but not the cheese, nuts, mandarin oranges, raisins or dressing. I can’t have bread that was baked that day so forget Subway. I am still crying so hard at my lack of chocolate, my tears soften the older bread.

We received our first bill from Mayo. Thank goodness for insurance. Tell me why a MRI should cost over $5,000. When you realize this didn’t cover our hotel or food (before I knew that chocolate was stricken from my sight), I know we will only be having bread and water for the next 37 months. Wait! I can’t have fresh bread. Houston, I have a problem.

Thanks for all of your encouraging words. I was amazed that some people actually called to let me know that they missed my daily blogs. I will try to be more faithful, but with me coughing with this dust, it might take me awhile. Meanwhile, I am looking for a clapper to locate my computer. With this vertigo, it is flying all over the place.

Advantage of The Mighty Three:

• The dizziness prevents me from overeating too much. I can’t catch the food let alone keep it on silverware. I should really be filmed.

Thump from the 700 Club

We’re back in our own home after a very full week and a half at Mayo. Upon opening the door, we immediately came to the conclusion that a winter tornado had somehow roared through the inside of home sweet home, leaving chaos behind it. Then the realization that the workmen are remodeling our downstairs to make it easier for our old, achy bodies slithered into our shrunken brains. Basically the whole downstairs, including the garage, is either torn apart due to this undertaking or storing the wide assortment of items that went in the kitchen, bathroom, utility room, eating area and hall closet. After 22 years, my amazing housekeeping skills had shoved many items into tight spaces. In other words, we had, or rather have, a lot of junk! The kitchen will be wonderful in another two weeks. Then it will take another 14.5 years to shove everything back. Some of the things might be replaced quickly since our main television is hidden somewhere behind some of the many boxes decorating our home. (Can I claim that it is the newest feng shui design?) Plus, we have to locate the many menus we have accumulated due to my lack of culinary skills. I used to also blame my lack of time, but since I am home on disability all day, the clock is not the blame.

Even though I am somewhat accustomed to people’s confusion when trying to understand me, the trip up north has heightened their unusual reactions. Many people have endured my long wait for Mayo. They’ve encouraged the trip and even have read this silly blog for minute details. Now that I have arrived back home, they are not so sure how to act. They want visible results! I smile at those individuals who gawk over my healthier appearance or rave at my stronger voice. They applaud my fixed body, but don’t comment about my continued befuddled brain.

I hate to tell them that I did not get a magical thump on my head from the 700 Club. I still stutter and hear ringing. It sounds like that awful pitch that many of us heard at the end of the television-broadcasting day. (If you are too young to recall the buzz, you should be doing something far more exciting than reading the blog of ditzy platinum.) I walk with a tipsy gait and don’t like loud noises. However, now I have a plan.

I have begun the new diet restrictions. You just can’t see the teardrops on your computer screen. I do the “Let’s See Janet Fall on Her Face” exercises assigned for my visual desensitization. My medications are being modified as I write. Besides all of that, Mayo has provided us with new hope for this deformed frame.

An upcoming post will describe some of my plans for the future. Mayo hasn’t seen the last of me yet. I figured this current blog would at least catch you up to the latest and greatest news. Don’t feel confused when I still bounce off the walls when walking or examine the threads on the carpeting. It’s me. I’m convinced that I will get there, but the tortoise and the hare will lap me 26 times.

Stay warm.

My latest advantage of The Might Three:

• People assume you have a reason to lack patience and have a hazy brain as long as you resemble a ping-pong ball when you walk. The movements, color AND shape of that sphere look just like me!

It Should Have Been Forty-One

Two doctor appointments took place today. My first was with a doctor to go over my many prescriptions. There had been a redundancy in medications. This doctor offered ideas that I can later discuss with my doctors at home. I agreed with his choices except for the pills that are a pretty green. Most of my others are boring white. I need a little jazz in that handful of pills that I down each day.

My second appointment was with my “advisor” who works with patients with The Mighty Three. He went over all the reports from other doctors along with their recommendations. He also suggested that I see another team at one of the hospitals associated with the clinic.

Bob and I headed back to the hotel. Our bags were all packed, so all we needed to do was pile everything in the car before we headed back to Chicagoland. Bob was grateful that we were getting out ahead of the cold front heading this way. Then, there was “the call”. There was an opening tomorrow for the appointment I needed. Would I be interested in that?

So, plans can and do get changed. How great to avoid a special trip up here just for this visit. Once these testing measurements are attained, they can get me into the two-week pain clinic earlier than expected. Back the luggage away from the door! (Make that “beep – beep – beep” sound made by large trucks when they back up. This is called Do It Yourself Sound Effects. It keeps the price of the blog lower!) We’re here one more night.

Yesterday, I wrote about my nineteen-hour reprieve from my new diet restrictions. Stephanie feels this is all just a plot to allow more chocolate to flow through my bloodstream. The title yesterday should have been “Forty One More Hours”.

PLUS, a heat wave is coming through. The temperatures tonight were forecast to drop to twenty below. Yep, that doesn’t even include the wind chill. The newest meteorologist is now predicting nineteen below. Yippee! Bob and I are obviously not out hitting the bars tonight. I’ve assumed my position for the evening – sitting up in bed with the bedspread pulled up to my armpits.

So, I think we will head out of Rochester tomorrow. My appointment is at 9:45 AM. This time we will pack the car beforehand.

Bob is amused. There is a service that provides meals delivered from many of the local restaurants. There is a huge variety – everything from a nice steak restaurant to Subway. When he just made our dinner “reservations” the woman who answered the call recognized Bob’s voice. Is that a sign that we have been here for a long time?

I have to go get ready for dinner. That involves straightening the bedspread and sitting up a little taller. It’s a shame that there is no chocolate in Chinese. We have to get up early, but many of you realize that I’m known for my love of early morning.

Advantage of The Mighty Three

• You learn to deal with changes in schedules. Flexibility is the key word! We have to be flexible in our thoughts because our bodies sure don’t bend anymore!

Nineteen More

The countdown begins. My first time at Mayo is quickly coming to a close. I highly recommend this facility to others, but I might suggest slightly warmer months. Tomorrow morning is supposed to be -15 degrees, and that doesn’t include the wind chill. Brrrrr. That’s just plain cold!

Yesterday and today were rather slow days. My body checked out my mattress yesterday. It finally said enough of this – sleep. So, I did. Today, we took turns pushing each other in a wheelchair. (The excitement continues!) I’ve mentioned the wonderful artwork throughout the Mayo complex. We checked out a recorder that allows a self-guided tour. Much of the work relates to people in pain, fighting obstacles, being isolated and encouraging others. You can sit down throughout the facilities and hear people at pianos. All of the musicians are patients, guests or volunteers. It’s fun to have others slow for a few minutes and slip into the soul of music. You can almost see any tension or stress slowly melt off tired shoulders.

Appointments were rearranged to allow us to depart a day early. I only have an 8:15 visit with some doctors who will give advise on possible medication changes. I had to ask for this appointment. Mayo does not want to step on any toes, but I would love to reduce the number of pills I’m forced to daily swallow. I have a Monday appointment with my pain doctor at home where I will take the suggestions to heart.

My other appointment is with the lucky doctor who was assigned my case. He has been studying all test results, will clarify any questions, state any concerns and then share all the news with Bob and I. I’ve read a great deal of the information that he has provided. It should be a very interesting meeting.

Then we head home, twenty-four hours earlier than we originally planned. But, where does that nineteen come from that is emphasized in today’s title. I have about nineteen hours left for this trip to Mayo. (I’ll be back in two months!) In one of the books suggested to me is a list of foods to be avoided. Wouldn’t you know that they are many of the things I adore? I have to say goodbye to foods made with yeast and caffeine. There won’t be any more processed foods, dairy products or many fruits. I’m determined to give it a try as I fight off these migraines and vertigo. BUT, I will fully adjust after I leave Rochester. That leaves me nineteen more hours to eat to my hearts delight. I just finished a yummy chocolate cupcake. That will be cancelled out later with yeast and chocolate.

So, I better start typing and get more of the stuffing underway. There probably won’t be another posting until Saturday. We want to head out after my doctor appointments. We’re curious what our house is like. The contractor said they would turn the water and heat back on when they leave. So join me in the next “19”. It’s time the eating begins.

The Mighty Three Advantage:

• You get sympathy points when you show strangers the list of foods to avoid. Can you imagine no chocolate, caffeine or yeast? Be still my heart!

The Dizzy Platinum

I’m feeling like I’m in somewhat of a routine here at Mayo. I got up and got dressed, had a hotel doughnut, then off I went via subway to my first appointment. I know the gal behind the desk on the 12^th floor and almost feel like I should have brought a doughnut to share with her.

My time waiting and first two appointments were largely comprised of completing various questionnaires dealing with everything from my grandmother’s neighbor’s maiden name to the size of my high school graduating class. Silly me did the first 83 pages in blue ink before noticing the microscopic directions requiring black ink in order for the computer to quickly scan my responses.

It’s funny how computers really rule our lives. My second doctor took notes on his PC once he located the correct screen of my growing file. All of my doctor reports were already online. The reports from doctors that I submitted prior to coming could be easily seen with the push of a button, as long as you knew which button to push. I was ready for a jpeg of the underwear I wore last Thursday to be displayed next.

Toward the end of appointment number two, the doctor pushed back his chair and decided to talk. He was unsure about one of my medications, and he admitted it. (Shockers I know. How many doctors do you know who have a humble trait?) He got up and walked to the office of a peer to find out more about those colored capsules that have barraged my medicine cabinet. Despite the advantages of our technological era, Mayo seems to know when to turn from the computer and talk.

That’s one of the beauties of Mayo. They talk. PLUS, they listen. They also want to insure that there are others outside of city limits that will listen once I leave Rochester. (I brought up the topic of Stephen Ministers. The doctor’s parents are both Stephen Ministers in their congregation! Imagine!)

I’m blessed to have many people in that category. Friends and family are keeping track of Bob and I. They are even reading my goofy blog. Although many have noticed the length of these posts, some brave souls have suggested that I use my blogs and newsletter articles to write a book. Do any of you wonderful folks own a publishing company desperate for the thoughts of a “dizzy platinum”? (I admit that I can no longer be considered a dizzy blond.) I love the idea, but how in the world could my thoughts become a book? Can anyone help?

Since I still am a member of the Mighty Three and not recognized as an author, today’s Might Three advantage is:

• With multiple doctors and a gift of gab, you find out interesting trivia from your doctors. My second doctor today grew up playing high school basketball against the same towns described on Little House on the Prairie. The comfort of sharing works both ways!